Don’t judge! That’s the audience I’m writing for. Ordinary people like you and me that have secrets or stories they’re dying to tell but can’t because they’re so far fetched and unbelievable, but true!
I’ll admit I may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I’m convinced life is way more exciting and scandalous then people lead us to believe. I’ve had a couple… three affairs in my life. I’ll admit it. Does it make me a bad person? NO! I think it just makes me real. I think statistics show it happens more often then not. Which leads me to my first blog post about this intimate secret thing that happened in my life, I will now share with you, my non judgemental audience. 😉
So picture it. A middle aged five foot nothing hundred and fifty pound sex goddess (that’s me) I can claim this title because I live it. I must give off pheromones (is that even the word) Italians hear words and then use the word or their own version of the word it’s part of our culture….I think, but anyways, I must have something because by society’s standards I would not be considered super model material.
I have this neighbor, I’m old enough to be his mother, a young mother but still his mother. Tall, six foot, body builder. Covered in tattoos (which I find to be sexy). He’s into fitness, got a beautiful wife, two young kids. Good looking family. We are friendly but just casual acquaintances. He finds my cell # on FB and decides he’s going to start texting me. “Hi neighbor” “I saw you walking, your looking good” I’m like thank you being polite, but wondering how’d you get my #? He tells me FB. I thought, weird but maybe he’s just friendly. Maybe he wants to help me with my fitness, because God knows I’m always struggling with my weight., and I’m out walking a lot. Nope,that wasn’t it because BAM I get the text….this guy is coming on to me!
“I can’t stop thinking about you, I am so attracted to you. I’m not sure what it is I’ve always wanted to kiss you”…blah blah blah…
I’m like Dude stop you’re crazy. ( I should point out, this guy is not my type. He’s conceited, he’s a full blown body builder he competes and everything. He has a permanent jug of water attached to his hand he walks around with it like he’s always in the middle of working out. My type is more the hiking, biking, naturally fit bad boy) So I say… What is this? Do you have a bet with another neighbor, is this a joke? Did my husband pay you to see if I’d take the bait? What is it?
“No, I’m just attracted to you I want to kiss you so bad I’m coming over, I want to check out your new addition anyway” (we remodeled and he was considering doing the same)
He shows up and I very hospitably take him around the house to show him our addition, we get to the basement and he spins me around and starts kissing my neck, my neck because I immediately turn my head and say what the heck are you doing? You are crazy I said! Didn’t anyone ever tell you, you don’t shit where you eat we’re neighbors for God’s sake now stop I’m old enough to be your mother!So I scramble away and he leaves. Now I’m dumbfounded WTF was that? Am I on candid camera? Do I have slut, gives good head, easy lay, milf, across my forehead or something?
A week goes by and I’m still thinking WTF. It does fuel a host of great Fantasy’s for me though I’ll have to admit I thought this stuff only happens in pornos! I don’t regularly watch but I enjoy watching a good porn movie every once in a while. And then he texts again. He says “I just saw everyone leave, you alone?” I said I’m leaving for work I have to be there in twenty minutes. He says “I’ll be right over I want to see you a second.”
A knock on the door and I go open it, I’m dressed in my work uniform which consists of elastic waist band polyester pants…(you want to know what my measly part time job is?)…wait for it…wait for it… I am “The Lunchlady” truth. LOL
So I open the door and he comes in the entrance way he closes the door and pins me to the wall and starts kissing my neck. Whispering “I need you so bad, I can’t stop thinking of you, please… please just touch me, look at it.” I look down and he’s got his cock out and he’s rubbing himself and begging. All while kissing my neck rubbing up against me.
Now you say… Why didn’t you scream or call the cops weren’t you scared? No I was still thinking this is shit that only happens in a porno, my girlfriends would be so jealous right now! He’s not my type but shit hes hot by other peoples standards. I should do this for the bragging rights alone! He’s half my age I’m a Sex Goddess right now!
So as this is all playing out in my head he’s still kissing, caressing, begging, rubbing himself, maybe two three minutes have passed since he came in the door. And he gets his hand in my pants and I’m fighting it because how weird would this be… and I think that turned him on more. The whole thing was kind of turning me on if i’m being honest. Then he hits the spot, I’m hot and wet and it pushes him right over the edge with a loud moan he drops his load right there at my feet, sighs a bit of relief and walks right back out the front door.
So I compose myself, run to look at the time I’m gonna be late for work!!! I grab a towel, clean the floor and off to work I go. True story…don’t judge
I would love feedback, opinions, what would you have done? Any comment is welcome. We all live by different standards, we all have different stories and all opinions are taken to heart so as long as nothing is said with cruel intention I will appreciate the honesty.
tripleclicka said:
Ummm, ok, hmmm… Your question was “Is there an audience for this. Of course there is an audience for it. You said yourself, this shit happens in porn, right? And porn is what, a multi billion dollar conglomerate? But you knew that, right?
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
Yes, I did know that LOL, I’m just wondering in blogging world do people look for stuff like this? Do they want to read some strangers blog about sexcapades one day and hot flashes the next? Thank you for the feedback you are fast becoming one of my best friends on here! 🙂
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tripleclicka said:
I think people are looking for what is real, and if sex one day, hot flashes the next is what is real, there you go.
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countryheartbeat said:
Yes, pheromones is a real word 😉
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theinbetweendream said:
Im dying! And I would have died!
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Finding My Inner Zen said:
Haha, I think you painted the visual for us quite well. I was like wait, wait are they going to do it??!
My biggest tip (and this is my humble opinion), is I would try and cut down a little bit on it to make it seem less rambling.
I think the story is a VERY interesting one, and I enjoyed reading it. What I didn’t get from it was your thoughts and feelings…
Did you go share with your girlfriends? How did this make you feel about yourself? You mentioned three affairs, perhaps leave the reader with a bit of a tidbit the end hinting at possible next blog posts.
And I really like the theme of “dirty secrets.” We’ve all got them! 😉
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
Thank you, I appreciate the suggestions they are great. Now I have to go back and try and remember how to add a theme! LOl. I know what you mean about leaving stuff out. I think I do that because I don’t want to overwhelm the reader with too much I’m always afraid I am rambling I have to work on that!! 🙂
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Robin said:
First, I like the theme you are using.
Second – About the post. I agree with the other comment that you could have tightened up the story a bit. If it is your life, and you are sharing it, I am happy to read it. I wonder if your husband ever reads your blog. Won’t he be pissed?
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
My husband doesn’t know I am blogging. I try to keep myself anonymous so I wont get anyone in trouble. I am so new at this I’m not sure he would be able to find it. I did wonder at first if this would pop up on any of my other stuff? I didn’t link the blog to twitter or FB can he find it on wordpress with my email address? That might be a problem if it’s the case.
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Robin said:
I once tried to write anonymously, but I am terrible at pretending. When I did that, I made up a fake email to go with my blog. I do not share a computer or other devices with my husband, so he had no idea I made up a fake email name. He knows I blog, but he doesn’t read it.
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
I don’t think my husband would even think to look for a blog unless someone slapped him in the face with it I doubt he’ll ever connect me with it. I need this outlet to get all this stuff out my minds always going. I didn’t think wordpress showed emails on the blogs publicly?? I could be wrong.
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Robin said:
Your email does not show publicly. You’re safe there. Blogging is a great outlet.
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
Thank You!!!!!! 🙂
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oriana77 said:
If you share a computer or your log on is not password protected, it is easy to track where others have visited by reviewing “History”. If this is a concern you need to delete your browsing history, either completely or selectively delete entries you don’t want seen by others.
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1terriberry said:
I’m new at blogging as well. I haven’t a clue on who can see this by using my email address.
I like your theme and your honesty. We’re all strangers in the world, but this has a way of connecting us in a strange way! Our secret world! I love it!
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1terriberry said:
P.s. now I know to make fake names and emails to remain discreet on my secrets I’d love to share!!
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hirundine608 said:
Goddamn … Yikes!
Oh, everyone has a IP address and unless you’re using one of those anonymous services? There are people out there who can find almost anything – about anybody. Not me, but there are people.
Personally, I mean personally. I would never put personal info on FB. Your choice I guess? Yet you may want to check your FB security settings? That your neighbour can see it? That’s not good news, as a far as I’m concerned.
Everything about FB. Is that it spies on …. everything. You, all your likes, etc. are sold off to third party advertisers and other interested parties. What you do with your life, on internet, is obviously your business. I just happened to be liking another blog and saw the comments praising your writing style, etc.
I have to concur, you have a great blog which I’m gonna’ follow for awhile. …. Nice work! Remember nothing on the internet is truly anonymous. .. Good film BTW, “Anonymous”.
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dfolstad58 said:
True or not, nobody knows for sure, and couldn’t stop reading. well done. Humor is so hard to write, you aren’t self conscious and so natural. Write Write Write! Maybe you have a 50 Shades of Grey book and movie in you!
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ordinary life of an ordinary wife said:
Thank you very much, while reading 50 shades I thought I can out do this 🙂
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