I want to say I was about 10 or 11 years old when I first discovered the secret world of masturbation. Not because I saw it, or heard about it, or even got the tingles playing show and tell with the boy next door. No! My jeans were too tight! pudgy little awkward adolescent I was. And hence began my journey into the fine art of masturbation.
This is the best thing in the world! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? Is this wrong? It must be wrong.
We don’t talk about sex, or feelings, or the opposite sex in my house. I grew up with two sisters I didn’t even know what a penis was let alone looked like until I was about 10!
So this has to be wrong. I should be ashamed of myself. I would be mortified if anyone ever knew I did this! Giving myself so much pleasure with this tiny little index finger.
In the beginning I was afraid to do it. I knew nothing about it. Could this make me sick? could I die if I do it too much? After a while I didn’t care. It felt so good. If I was going to die it would be with my hand between legs touching my clit while exploding with pleasure.
That was my first recollection of discovering the beauty of “self love”. Now of course at that age we’re all curious does anyone else do this? If I discovered it surely my friends, maybe even my sisters have discovered this? I wondered. But I would never ask my sisters, they would embarrass me maybe tell my mother.
So I didn’t think much about it, until … I went to a girlfriends for a sleep over. We were talking about cute boys and what what we thought sex was like. And it came out. I sort of outed myself… in a clever way I might add ;). I said do you know what “my sister” told me!? I then proceeded to tell my girlfriend that if you touch and pinch this area in between your legs it feels really really good. Did you know that? I asked my friend? She said of course I know. Now to this day I don’t know if she meant it or if she didn’t want me to think she wasn’t cool enough to already know about it.
I said wow you knew? Have you ever tried it? She said no. I said me neither, and then we decided we would try it together. So we stripped off our panties and lay there next to each other. just looking off at the ceiling. I said are you touching it? She said yes. I said how does it feel? I’m not sure. I said it feels good you have to rub back and forth in circles. She said ok. I said you want me to show you? Yes. So I reached between her legs and found the spot. She was so incredibly wet I thought there was something wrong. I never get that wet, maybe a little but she was this slippery mess of pure horniness! I told her to wipe it off a bit so I could find the spot. But by then she had said, “it’s ok let me touch you now? I said ok, and so began my first orgasm at the hands of someone else!***
****so sex sells, it’s a multi million dollar industry. I decided why not start blogging about a subject that will grab everyone’s attention and maybe attract the most followers!
*** I would love feedback on writing style, examples of how I could word things differently to sound less like i’m rambling. I would also love to open up a dialogue on your experiences on this subject. I’m always curious other peoples first experience with masturbation or orgasm. How old were you? What was your first time like?
I hope this subject brings more followers and conversations. If my words provoke any feelings, even if it’s a just a rock hard boner or butterflies in your vagina I’ve succeeded!